Batgirl for a Day
by Hulkz
Summary: Batman needs a replacement and fast, to take out the Joker. Batgirl's been injured and Harley fits the costume...
1. chapter 1 and 2

Harley had just been bored. She was many things yes, partially insane, maybe, but right now she was just bored. So to solve this boredom, and to ease her mind, she decided to go and get a hand-cut diamond, that she had seen walking down the street from her comfortable little apartment on Gotham central street. "Get" being the key word in her vocabulary. The dark had already hit Gotham Jewelery by the time Harley had arrived, sticking her face on to the recently shined window. She could tell, the Windex that was used to clean the window was still fresh, obvious by the strong stench. "Yuck" Harley whined loudly retracting her head quickly from the window, "processed chemicals smell gross." She stuck out her tongue and pointed down her throat gagging. Blinking and centering herself, she playfully pulled a large gun out her bag, "bad girl" scribbled on the side with red paint. "Bottoms up" she chimed and aimed the gun at the window.

"Three, two," her finger tighten around the trigger, "one"

"What are you doing," a deep voice interrupted behind her. She turned quickly, aimed, and fired the gun at the unknown voice. The gun crack, but the figure moved out of the way, moving like a blur and lunging at Harley, disarming her and grabbing Harley's arm.

"I thought you were trying to go straight Harley", Batman asked with not much emotion in his voice.

"Didn't know you cared Bat's, now let me go," Harley whined as she tried to get out of Batman' grip.

Batman just held tighter as his long black satin cape blew in the wind. His eyes just locked on the struggling Harley thru his dark mask and wondered why he was doing this.

"Harley, I need your help", Batman ask with a hit of reluctance in his voice. Harley ceased her struggling. She adjusted her tight black and red outfit around the chest area and looked Batman in the eyes.  
"With what exactly,"

"Bat girl is injured," he paused as if to consider something, but continued soon after,

Harley interrupted quickly, "Why does this matter to me," she turned her head away from Batman and stuck her nose in the air, "Why should I care."

Batman wonder the same thing, "Her injuries are serious, and I need a quick replacement,"

Harley interrupted again, a cynical look on her face. "What about Cat women?"

Batmans face flinched a little, but he held his expression. Harley's frown became a large grin.

"Don't worry about it bats. I don't want to be near ya either." She smiled wider, stretching it from ear to ear. That was the last straw for Batman. This was very idiotic, and Batman had had it. "Never mind Harley, I will find someone else." Batman released his vice grip on Harley. She withdrew her arm with haste, and slowly began to rub it, as she put on a pout face. Batman turned away from her and reached for his utility belt on his waist.

"Just thought I would let you know before I leave", He said as his hand shot upward , with a grappling hook placed in it, his finger on the trigger. "The target that Batgirl was investigating was the Joker."

Harley's eyes widened, Batmans words echoing in her head as her memory flashed back to her psychiatrist days. The white rooms where filled with patients, people screaming in the dozens, banging there heads against the glass walls that kept there insanity away from her. She was just out medical school, an ambitious student of psychology, and landing this job would put her on the top of all medical journals. She wanted it more than everything, fame was her goal back then. "Welcome to Arkham Mrs. Quinn." the lady who would become her overseer welcomed as she motioned for Harley to follow. She looked professional. Her dark brown hair was tied back in a bun, neat and organized, unlike Harleys blonde hair, which was put back in a messy bun. Her white lab coat that she wore was spotless, not a dot or stain adorned it. It was tied around her waist by a white belt, and her name tag hung from it, the picture holding the same serious expression she wore this very moment. Harley felt jealous back then, but she could not remember why. That's when Harleys memory began to fade to reality, the steady beat of her overseers stilettos as she led Harley down the row of the insane, growing dimmer and dimmer."Well wish I could say it was fun", Batman finished off, as he tightened his grip on the trigger.

"Wait" Harley cried out, shooting her hand forward.

"Yes" Batman said without even twisting his head around.

"I will help you", Harley said her face twisting into a different expression than it was used to. It was the face of someone who was serious. "I will help you take down the joker."

* * *

Harley rolled her eyes at the irony of the fact that, for the man who fought crime for a living, there was not space in the cramped car that she now sat on.

"It is so stuffy in her," Harley moaned loudly as she put her arms up in the air, hitting ceiling. She rolled her eyes once more.

"It wasn't made for a passenger, which is why Robin get's the Robin motorcycle." Batman answer back never taking his eyes off the road as the city lights flew by.

"Are we there yet," Harley said as she leaned forward, putting her head on her knees, her face twisting into a long frown.

"Almost" Batman said his eyes again never leaving the road, "What convinced you to help me anyway."

Harley shot upright and turned his way with a huge grin on her face, that in some odd way sent a chill up his spine. He showed no sign of this of course, but it still was creepy.

"Well Batman isn't it obvious?" Harley said in a voice that Batman recognized as sarcasm. "Who doesn't want to prance around in tights that make my tits show? Who doesn't want to hang around with some old guy who surrounds himself with underage kids and convinced them to fight crime? I don't know about you but this sounds like lodes of fun!"

It wasn't the sarcasm or the fact that she took no measures to hide her mocking lie, no, it was the fact that he had to listen to her excessive whining for the remainder of the night. Batman considered calling Zatanna, turn Harley into a little more talkative toad, but Zatanna would only cause a distraction for the night. She was always after what was under the Bat suit, and he was busy for now.

"Is it because the Joker tried to," He began but was quickly interrupted.

"What is my life story on E! Or something," Harley said, her voice now louder than ever. "Does everyone know what happened," she sunk back into the seat, and pouted her lips. "Just say it, what he did to me, go ahead." She turned to Batman and waited. A smirk, odd as it was, graced his face. "Harley, sorry but I can't, I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me," Batman said, oddly, with remorse in his voice. Harley puckered her lips, raised her head , and chimed,

"Ah I knew you like me ba.." She never finished, as Batman's Hand came across her face, causing her to fall back on her chair unconscious.

"Not what I meant" He said without even giving her a second glance as they entered the mysterious bat cave. Harleys head had that spinning feeling as if she was falling, falling into everlasting darkness.

Chapter 2

Memories flew past her as she continued downward, a loud ringing noise only getting louder and louder and.... "Oh for the love of.." Harley bellowed as she trust the dark purple covers forward and smacked her alarm clock that laid on the small desk next to the bed.

"Ugh" she moaned rubbing her half moon eyes, smacking her lips a little as she glanced at the alarm clock once more.

"What time is it," she moaned again, as she tried to decipher the worn numbers that adorned the clock. She squinted, trying to see the invisible characters, and twisted her head to the side, hoping that maybe it would help with her point of view. Much to Harleys dismay, and frustration, she was unable to do this, and in one swift hand movement, and growl, backhanded the useless alarm clock to the floor, causing it to shatter across the carpet. She removed the covers that were on her, revealing her black and white pajamas, and began to get out of bed, taking a quick glance around her apartment building. It was a crapped little room, the living room being in the kitchen, as a variety of junk and guns decorated the floor, making it the very essence of messy. Harleys face morph into a face of disgust. She remembered when she had fancy hotels, henchmen to cleanup after her, and money to burn. Now however, she was living in this dump of a motel 6, and to top it all off, she bored out of her skull. She shook her head vigorously, as if to get rid of these depressing thought, and quickly stood up. She had to be happy, because he had a plan, and she knew he would pull through on his word. Then they would have a castle, a car, and fancy clothing, money to the brink.....

"Harley, are you there?" a voice bellowed from behind the door followed by a series of hard knocks, that interrupted her fantasy.

"Be right there Mr. J," Harley said jumping, quickly grabbing her hair, fixing it, and running to the door, briefly pausing to move the rubble of the alarm clock under the bed, then just as quickly continuing.

"Hurry up, hurry up, I don't have all day," the Joker said with a growl that traveled through the door just as Harley reached the handle. Twisting it she opened it slowly, raising her hand up it's side, making a pose as she leaned on it eroticly. There in all his glory, at least to Harley, stood the Joker at her doorstep.


	2. Chapter 2

He wore his normal suit, with a big green bow tie around his neck, his normal white face and red lips in a twisted frown. Shooting his hand forward, he shoved Harley out of the way as he stepped into her little apartment. Harley, tripping over herself as she fell forward, quickly recovered her balance, turning to face the Joker. She tried so hard to keep her smile,

"Come in puddin" she said with a bit of spite in her voice.

She loved him, but she also hated some of his mood swings as well. Failing to notice the whole commotion that involved Harley, Joker continued forward on a path that led straight at a little chair that lied in the corner of the little bedroom. The Joker reached it and stationed himself on the seat. Harley watched all this, quickly noticing her "Puddins" expression of sullen and anger. Her own smile twisted into a frown,

"What's wrong Puddin" she said sadly, standing on her toes and tiptoeing toward the Joker, playfully. The Joker crossed his arm, leaned back in the chair, and his frown extended more downward. Reaching him, Harley slowly put her arm around him, her left hand sliding down his back, and her right reaching towards his face. Grabbing it she moved his head slowly, as to his face was facing her.

"What's wrong" she repeated puckering her lips as she looked like a fish. The Joker eyes became slits,

"Batman that is what is wrong Harley," He growled and pulled away from Harleys hand, "Are you happy now,". He continued to sulk, but Harley would not be discouraged. She grabbed the Joker by his shoulder, to his surprise, and threw him on her bed. The Joker was taken aback by this, his eyes widening as he stared at Harley who began to remove her top, to her pajamas.

"I know how to cheer ya up puddin" she said as she slithered into the bed beside Joker. The Joker's frown twisted upside as he smiled a wide toothy grin. Grabbing Harley, he jumped on top of her, and laughed

"Heh heh, you sure are a crazy old cook Harley," he began to kiss her neck, "but crazy is just what I am looking for in a women." He reached under into her pajama bottoms, and suddenly everything began to feel hot for Harley. Not the good kind of hot, but more of the kind you felt when you where at the beach. Harley ignored this however, to taken aback by what was going on. "Oh Mr. J," Harley moaned. "Harley," a voice beckoned back.

" Yes Mr. J?" Harley chimed.

"Wake up Harley, or did I punch you to hard", the voice yelled loudly. Harley's eyes shot opened, and where met by the sight of the last person she wanted to see, Batman.


End file.
